Can We Fix What's Broken?
by garden-nomes
Summary: A perspective on what happens when Emily goes back to Naomi's after the rooftop scene in season four. (I'm crap at summaries!) Rated M for language.


**A/N: I don't know why I keep starting random one-shot fics when I have two multi-part suckers I started writing months ago that I've not even posted here yet... But anyway. Just proof, I guess, that I've got the attention span of a goldfish, because I tend to write these little one-shots when I get stuck on my other fics. Anyway, I digress. This is a little experimentation of what may have happened after Emily went back to Naomi's after the rooftop scene in season four.**

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**Emily POV**

I know I'm young. I know I might even be a little naïve. Standing on that rooftop… I know I felt my heart breaking.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she cried.

Everything was so fragile, just like I'd said to Naomi. And for a second, just for a split second, I thought about jumping. But knowing my luck, I'd survive, and Katie would kick the shit out of me. Not only that, it would have been the most ironic of things that I could do, given how Sophia had died. So instead I swallowed the tears that spilled from my eyes, and walked past the girl I loved as she choked out the words.

"I was scared!"

"You're always scared."

Sophia. A girl I barely knew, but a girl who had unknowingly caused the fracture of the best thing that had ever happened to me. And yet I couldn't blame her. Or maybe I could, I didn't really know. The only one who could tell me now, was the one person that for the moment I couldn't bear to look at.

Do you know what it's like? When the one person who gives you the most comfort, the one person who understands you, and who you share your life with breaks your heart? At that point, you need someone to catch you, because you have fallen, your mind and heart a mess.

And that's how I felt, as I ran down the stairs from that carpark, where everything had been shattered.

Naomi had lied to me. I asked her if she had fucked Sophia, and she told me she hadn't, to my face. I had a right to feel betrayed. A right to feel angry. But what could I do now? I needed time to think. To assess the situation.

I left the building and just walked. Did she know I would find out? Did she even feel bad about it? How could she do that to me? I thought she loved me. Was I wrong? What happened next? Would it ever be the same between us again? Could we get past it?

Was she the reason Sophia had killed herself?

I doubled over near a tree on a random corner and tasted the acid as it spilled out of me, nausea taking hold. My hand slammed against the bark of it, holding me up, otherwise I am fairly sure I would have been kneeling in the grass at my feet. It was only when there was nothing left, that I steadied myself and kept walking. I wasn't even sure where I was going.

I ended up in a park. Sitting on a park bench, alone with my thoughts. The tears ran down my cheeks, but no sound came from me. Every now and again, a sniffle. I felt so numb. The questions I had were overwhelming me, running through my mind, overlapping each other.

What was done, was done. But what now?

I'm not sure how long I sat there, it really could have been hours. The sky was cloudy, so I wasn't aware of the time of day. But eventually, I decided to go home and face her. I don't know if I was ready to hear her explain, but as hurt and angry as I felt, I needed to see her. To feel her arms around me.

I stood up and started to walk home. When I got there, I found a card attached to the door.

"I'll do anything." it said, and it had been hand-drawn. I looked up, to see her at the window on the top floor, her blonde hair hanging down her shoulders, looking down at me. I couldn't really tell, but it looked like she had been crying.

I opened the door and went inside, closing it behind me. Slowly, I climbed the stairs, and walked into her room. Our room. She sat barefoot on the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest. She stared at me with tears in her eyes, and I didn't think it was more possible for my heart to hurt anymore than it did, but at that moment, I knew I was wrong about that. I walked to the foot of the bed and sat down near to her.

We sat there for a few minutes, in silence.

"You lied to me." I said, barely whispering.

Naomi sniffled as she nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Ems."

"For fucking her, or lying to me?" I asked her.

"Both. I never meant to hurt you."

I nod. "I don't understand why," I said, my voice flat. "Do you love me?"

"You know I do."

"When you love someone, you don't fuck someone else like that." I snapped.

Naomi rested her head on her knees. "She meant nothing to me. Not like you do."

"But you still did it. I thought I meant more to you than that."

"Emily… you mean everything to me. You know that." she says, as she takes my hand in hers. She squeezes it, and the contact of her hand on mine makes me half uneasy. As if I want it, but at the same time I don't.

"You mean everything to me, too. But Naomi… you cheated, and lied about it. I'm not sure if I can trust you. I need time to… deal with this, somehow."

"I understand." she whispers, after a long pause. "I know I fucked up. You have to understand how sorry I am. I'd do anything to make it up to you."

What could she do that would make it up to me?

"Don't suppose you have a time machine?" I said.

"No." she said, sadly. "I can't change what I've done. I wish I could. I feel so bad, Ems. It's tearing me up inside." her voice cracks on her last words.

I look at her for a long time. I can see the sadness in her blue eyes, and it's making me want to drag her into my arms and make it better. But she is the one who has fucked up, and it's only when I look at her eyes, that it hits me.

We are both hurting.

"Why?" I ask.

"What?"

"Why did you do it?"

Naomi sighs deeply. She hesitates, biting her bottom lip, showing her nervousness. "It was stupid. I had no idea she felt that way about me. Not at first, Ems, I swear to you. We met at the open day… we talked… and… it sounds like a cliché. One thing led to another."

I laugh, but it's bitter. It's a mixed emotion, I don't want to laugh, but I can't help it.

"I left right after. I knew right then that it wasn't right. I know I should have known that before, but… I can't really explain that. It only happened once, I swear to you. She tried to see me again, but I told her no… that I was with someone. I didn't know to what extent she was infatuated with me."

But I did. I'd fallen for Naomi back in middle school. I could understand how mesmerising she was. I had more or less stalked her myself, but indirectly. I had wanted to be her friend for years before we finally became as such.

"When she jumped at the club… I thought… oh, it sounds bad, I thought I was safe. That you would never find out. I knew it would hurt you. It hurt me too. I'd been fighting so hard, to try and ignore it what I'd done. But when she died, it stuck in my mind and wouldn't go away. I didn't know she was going to take all the MDMA and do what she did. If I did, I wouldn't have sold it to her." she speaks, and her voice sounds so empty, so hollow and broken.

"I'd do anything to keep you safe. To make sure you never hurt-"

"Well, you've done a shit job at that, Naoms. You've HURT me. My heart is breaking because of what you've done. You lied to me. You cheated on me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" I say, tears falling from my eyes.

Naomi sat in silence, but the look on her face told me more than she could say.

"If you want to go, I'll understand." she finally mumbles. "If this is us over… I wouldn't blame you. You did nothing wrong, I know it's all my fault."

"I don't know if I can forgive this, Naomi. It hurts so much, I thought better of you."

"So…? Where does that leave us?" she asks, her voice timid.

"I don't know. It would be easier if I didn't love you."

"But you do?" there's a hint of hope in her voice.

I nod my head. "That's why this hurts. You have so much of me, Naoms. My heart… and it feels like you've crushed it."

"I've betrayed you."

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry." she whispers. Her hand grips mine, tightly. She screws eyes shut as the tears slip down her cheeks, and I feel my shoulders slump as my anger momentarily crumbles. Unable to stop myself, I pull her into my arms and she wraps her arms around my waist and cries into my shoulder. I can't stand to see her so broken. I'm not sure what this resolves, if anything, in fact, I know it doesn't. But I can feel that she wants me to just hold her, so I do. I hold her and let her cry. She continues to whisper that she's sorry, over and over, in between sobs, clinging to me as if her existence depended on it.

The vision enters my mind, and before I can really do anything about it, I find myself flinching out of Naomi's arms.

"Don't." I snap, as she tries to put her arms back around me. "Just… don't." I stand up and stare at her, a mixture of shock and hurt on her face. A tear, like the many others I've cried slips from my eye, and I walk out of her room… our room, and walk downstairs. I sit on the sofa and cannot control the sobs that leave my throat.

It's one thing to know Naomi fucked someone else, but it's quite another to picture it in my head.

I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up hours later, a blanket draped around me. I'd rather not have dreamed, because it was filled with thoughts of her, Sophia. And Naomi.

There was a note left on the coffee table.

"Emily,

I know I have hurt you. I cannot express how sorry I am for what I've done. I know it was stupid, and I've messed everything up, and I really wish I could take it back.

She meant nothing to me, Ems. Not like you do. She wasn't like you, she didn't affect me the way you do, with a single look. She couldn't make my heart skip and flutter like you do. She doesn't make me lose my mind, in both good and bad ways, like you do. I never got as into it with her as I did (do) with you. I can't say she didn't make me come like you… she just didn't make me come. You know what gets me off, and she was nowhere near. I know it still doesn't change what I did. I feel horrible about it.

I love you so much, Emily. You have to know that I never meant to hurt you, and if I could just hold you and take away your pain, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I know that's something that's going to take time. I'm not stupid, I know something was bothering you when I had my arms around you, so… I can wait until you are ready.

I've gone to stay with Effy for a couple of days. I think it's best, to give you some time to think about what you want. I don't want to be without you, but I know you need time.

I'll wait forever, if I have to.

All my love,

Naomi. xoxo"

I stared at her writing, until I felt the tears splashing on my wrist. I placed the note on the coffee table and took a deep breath.

I wasn't sure whether the hole in my heart could be any bigger.

* * *

**Naomi POV - Sunday**

"Thanks for letting me stay, Eff." I mumbled, as I put my rucksack down beside the sofa.

"No problem." my enigmatic friend said. I sat down, as Effy leaned against the wall.

"I fucked up, Eff." I said, still feeling broken. "I fucked it all up."

Effy crossed to the couch, and sat down at the opposite end, lighting a cigarette. She handed it to me and took one for herself, and for a few minutes we just sat there in silence, smoking. That's what I loved the most about Effy, she would just let you talk when you wanted. She didn't push. Not like Emily.

But, I couldn't blame Emily for being angry. I didn't, for flinching from me. If I was her, I would have done the same. I'm surprised she held me to begin with, and when she did, I hung onto her, pretty much for dear life.

But I felt her shiver. Right before she tore herself from me, and I knew why. She didn't have to tell me, it was the look on her face that told me everything I needed to know about why. Emily was a very visual person. I knew what she had imagined.

And it was then, that I decided to give her a few days. It was only fair. I knew that if I lost her, I only had myself to blame. And it added to the remorse I as feeling. The rightfully overwhelming sense of guilt that I was feeling.

Why the hell did I even fuck Sophia in the first place? What the fuck was I thinking? I obviously wasn't thinking, if I thought that Emily would never find out. I forgot how investigative she could be when she wanted to. When I told her to mind her own business, I knew she would be twice as suspicious. I know because I would have done the same. And she has such an innocence about her, she would have just charged on into it, knowing what she would find.

But what was done was done. All I could do now was wait, give her time, and just try and deal with the pain I was feeling myself.

"So? Want to tell me what's going on?" Ah, Effy. Direct as always.

"I cheated."

"At scrabble?" she smirked.

"No." I whispered. "On Emily."

"What?"

"I fucked someone else."

"Oh, Naomi." she says, her hand resting on my shoulder. "Who?"

"The dead girl. Sophia." Effy stayed silent. " It gets worse, as if that wasn't enough. I sold her the MDMA."

"Jesus."

"I never meant to hurt her. If she hadn't been so curious!" I sobbed. "I don't know what's going to happen. I left her a note, and just came here."

Effy stood up and got a bottle of vodka out of the drinks cabinet. She opened it and handed it to me. I took a long drink, my throat burning as she vodka slid down to my stomach. "What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm such a twat."

"How did she find out?"

I recount the last few days to Effy. She doesn't say much, as she usually doesn't, just nods in places. By the end of it, Effy has lit a spliff and we are passing it between us.

I don't even know why it happened. It's not like I argued with Emily that morning, but I knew she wasn't keen on me going to the open day. I knew she wanted to go traveling, and while I did too, for the most part (I wasn't too keen on going alone, but I'd follow Emily anywhere.), I still wanted to keep my options open, as it were. Just in case something happened between me and her, and we weren't together.

Oh god. Us not being together.

Anyway, the open day. She came up to me. Said she recognised me from Roundview. She only looked vaguely familiar to me. Probably because there was nothing as distinctive about her as there was about Emily. She didn't pull me in, like Emily did. I didn't feel the uncontrollable vortex that swirled around me whenever I looked at Emily, whenever she looked at me.

But I did feel a sense of emptiness because Emily wasn't with me. I should have been here with her, but she had her heart set so much on going to Goa, and other places, she had more or less talked me into it, with ideas of making love on the beach at sunset, and riding elephants. And I of course, wanted to share those moments with her, as much as I wanted to share my future with her. And I'd planned to go to university for years.

Most of the students at Roundview steered clear of me. They knew what a sarcastic bitch I could be. The only ones who I'd ended up more or less befriending were the friends I had, and they were an odd bunch. Sophia didn't seem to care, though. She told me she had seen me around. I found I could relate to her in some ways, she told me about her family, and some other stuff I didn't particularly pay much attention to. So, we wandered around the open day, she was going to apply for the arts program, and I politics, eventually.

We got on the same train home, and she confided in me how trapped she felt, she was still in the closet, and a virgin as well. When I asked her why she was telling me, she took my hand, and told me that she fancied me. I told her I was flattered, but I wasn't interested. She just smiled and nodded, and we ended up back at her place. I felt uneasy, I knew how she felt, but I also felt sorry for her. There was a lull in the conversation, and she leaned over and kissed me. I knew it didn't feel the same. It felt different. Her lips were soft, but not as soft and warm as Emily's. Her height was different. She tasted different. Not unpleasant, but not right. She didn't fit me as perfectly as Emily did. And then she's taking my clothes off, and I'm undressing her. It's like I'm detached, my body is functioning according to its nature, but my mind is conflicted.

Then I realise what's happening. I'm imagining Emily. And the girl under me is most certainly not her. Her body, the feel of her, her voice… it doesn't fit. She just doesn't cling to me the same way Emily does right before she comes. But after, she's all over me in a way that makes me feel creeped out. What I've done has just come crashing down around me. And I feel like such a cunt, in that moment. I wriggle out from under her and make some excuse about needing to leave. I'm out of there quicker than she can protest, and I hung out at a pub for a couple of hours after, trying to drink to forget it.

After it happened, she tried to get me to go out with her, and I fobbed her off, until I eventually told her I was with Emily, and I wasn't interested. That was the day I sold her the MDMA. When she jumped, a few days later, I felt awful, as anyone would. It was when the details started to come out that I felt partially responsible.

I had no idea she had been stalking me, though, until Emily opened her locker at the cadet base. It was then, that I knew she was coming back to haunt me, from her grave. When we dashed to the closet in the base, and Emily said I was stalkable, I thought I had nothing to worry about, that she believed me when I said that I didn't know her. She appeared to not have any further suspicions. At least not when the adrenaline of potential discovery claimed us both and we made love on the camouflage nets.

I felt bad enough for what had happened. Not only for cheating on Emily, but guilt over Sophia's death. My one fear was that she found out. I was so scared of hurting her. So terrified of her finding out, I knew how much it would break her, and I couldn't bear to break the heart of the one person who I cared about the most.

But that's what I had done. I'd broken her heart, and in doing so, I'd broken my own.

* * *

**Emily POV**

I didn't feel like eating anything. Feeling emotional always did mess with my appetite. I sat there in the dark, the television on, but muted. I had taken the duvet off Naomi's bed and had wrapped my body in it. It had the scent of both of us on it, and was warm and familiar. A small comfort, when I felt so cold inside.

What was done, was done. She'd been with someone who wasn't me. I wasn't the only one anymore. I think that hurt me quite a bit. I was glad she had given me time. I couldn't look at her right now. I didn't want her physical presence near me, it was just too much. It always had been, but in a more positive way. When she was near me, it was as though a very positive vibe was running through me, turning on that switch inside me that made my insides hum.

But now, for the first time since she snubbed me after our first kiss, the ache felt different. Before, I had ached because I wanted her so much. Now, it ached because I didn't know what I was going to do without her, if I decided to be. The ball was truly in my court. And that terrified me. Whenever Katie pissed me off, I was likely to hold a grudge. I knew that I was holding a pretty big one right now. Katie had always droned on when one of her shags had cheated on her, saying how low an act it was. But I doubt Katie ever felt like them the way I feel about Naomi. Her and I were special. I knew that. I didn't just know it, I felt it, deeper inside than I could measure.

I had to at least give her a chance. I felt like I had been working so hard just to be with her, chasing her, wanting her. Loving her was the easy part, I knew I was a goner from the first time I set eyes on her bright blue ones. But now… could I trust her again? Would I be one of those partners who was suspicious everytime their lover stepped outside the door, or looked at, or even worse, spoke to another girl?

I wasn't sure of I could rid my mind of the thought of the two of them together.

I had to talk to her. I had things I wanted to ask her, to hear her say. Before I know it, I've picked up my phone and dialed her number. Effy answered.

"Hi, Emily."

"Hi, Effy. Is she there?"

"Yes." the brunette answered.

"Can I talk with her, please?"

"Hold on."

Hear muffled conversation, Naomi's voice cursing and then the line becomes clearer.

"Emily…Hey."

"H-hi." I stuttered. "Can we talk?"

"Hang on." More muffling as Naomi asks Effy for privacy. "Ok… I'm alone. Are… are you ok?"

"Silly question, don't you think?" I say, trying to suppress the bite in my voice. "Sorry."

"It's ok. I know you're upset."

"Yeah." I say, tiredly. "But snapping at you is not going to help this."

"You think this can be helped?" I hear the sadness in her tired voice. "I fucked up, Ems."

"Yeah, you did. You need to explain it to me, Naoms. Just so I get it right in my head. Because I can't help thinking that it was just… easy for you to do that to me."

"No! God no, Emily!" Naomi says, and then exhales slowly. "We met by coincidence there. She was a familiar face, sort of… I didn't know her, really. But she told me she knew who I was, so we explored the open day together. It wasn't until later that she told me she fancied me. I told her I wasn't interested."

"So then how…"

"She and I caught the same train back. She chose to confide in me, Ems. I felt sorry for her, so I went back to hers, just to keep her company. She kissed me first. And it just sort of happened. I thought of you the whole time." I couldn't help but cringe at the thought of that.

"But she's had you, Naomi. You're not just mine anymore." I say, trying to stop my voice from cracking.

"Emily…"

"No, Naoms. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" I can't help it, it cracks whether I want it to or not, and I can feel the tears slipping out of my eyes.

"Emily!" she snaps. I stop, shocked. That's the first time she's done that. "I never let her fuck me." she says, after a short pause. It takes a second for what she says to register.

"What?" I asked.

"I… god, I left right after she came. I didn't let her fuck me. I couldn't. I felt bad enough, and I had to get out of there. I swear to you. I didn't want her touching me. It felt wrong, she wasn't you."

I sighed deeply. "How am I supposed to believe that?" I croaked, hearing that was a slight shock to me. Naomi knew I had slept with J.J., so I could understand now, how she had felt when I did that. Everyone knew that J.J. was charity.

"I never thought you would do that to me." I said. "Do you have any idea what you have done? How could you take something so pure and ruin it like that, Naoms? I thought it was me you wanted."

"IT IS!" she shouts, the line distorting slightly. "It is. I didn't want her to touch me at all, that's why I left! If you meant nothing to me, then god knows what would have happened, but you mean EVERYTHING to me, Emily."

I can hear the sorrow in her voice. "Naomi… if she hadn't jumped…would you ever have told me?"

There's a long uncomfortable pause. "Emily… I don't know. But she did jump, and you found out. I'm so sorry I lied to you. And I'm so fucking sorry I did it."

Another pause. "I don't know if I can trust you." I said, quietly.

"I know." she says, sniffling. "But that's up to you to decide if you can. All I can do is give you my word. I love you and I don't want to hurt you... Anymore than I already have."

"You know actions speak louder than words…"

"Yeah. But Ems, it's in the past. I can't change it, even though I would, if I could. I don't want anyone else, Ems. Just you. That's why I told her I wasn't interested. I didn't know it was going to be such a huge fucking mess! You have to believe me."

I sighed. "Naoms…"

"Yeah?" her tone was curious, tentative. Like she knew she was walking on thin ice.

"It's ok. You've said enough for now. Just… stay at Eff's until Sunday, then come back and we'll talk more, ok? I believe what you're telling me about it… I just… need to think it through. Ok?"

"Emily… are we going to be ok?"

"I hope so, Naoms. I really do, because all of this is killing me, and I need my best friend to hold me and make it better."

"Ok." she said, quietly. "I love you, Emily."

"I know."

I hang up and toss my phone onto the sofa. I did love her, but I couldn't say the words. It was as though I didn't feel she deserved them.

All these things I was feeling… it was hurting me more than what she had done. This feeling of betrayal, the suspicion that she would do it again… it all led to this terrible pain that seemed insurmountable to relieve. A pain only she could cure me of.

And that's what had me conflicted. The fact that the only thing that could cure the ache I had was its very cause. Naomi had become family to me. Not just my girlfriend, or my lover. She was the person I could run to when I needed to confide in someone. That one person I felt most comfortable with, and could share every aspect of myself with, without fear of retribution, or rejection.

No wonder I felt the way I did about it all. She had become so much a part of me, that it was like hating myself as much as I loved her.

* * *

**(Naomi POV - Sunday morning)**

I woke up on Effy's couch, as the sunlight streamed over my face. I hadn't slept well the past few nights. Since Emily and I got together, I always had my best nights sleep when I was wrapped around her. The others were fitful. And that's if I got any sleep at all.

But tonight I was going home. Home to talk. I can't say the thought of it didn't scare me, but I needed to see Emily. Just being with her while we talked it all out might make me feel better than trying to solve the problem apart.

I opened the front door and walked inside, dropping my rucksack by the door.

"Ems?" I called.

"In here." I heard her voice from the kitchen. I walked in to find her sitting at the table. "Tea?" she asked, pointing behind her with her thumb.

"Um… yeah, alright." I replied, sitting down. Emily stood up and gave me an uncertain smile as she turned to make us tea. She looked as tired as I felt, and I wondered if she had not been sleeping well, either.

Who was I kidding? Of course she hadn't. I knew her intimately enough to know she didn't sleep well without me, either.

I watched her as she set about preparing the tea, treasuring the moment as if it was the last time I would see it. She was so beautiful and fragile at the same time, that it was bittersweet to watch, but I couldn't look away. Her red hair hanging down over her eyes, the small deceptive frame of her shoulders that looked so fragile, but held so much strength. I wanted to stand up and put my arms around her, but knew it wasn't the right thing to do.

She turned back and placed the mugs on the table, sitting down across from me. I sipped the tea, she always knew how to make it for me, without asking again since the first time I told her.

"So…" I said, placing my mug back on the table.

Emily's expression was uncertain, and her mouth kept half opening and closing again, as though the words were stuck. I didn't even know what to say, because I had probably already said enough.

"I don't want this to be what breaks us up." Emily finally says, her voice calm. "I would like to think we are stronger than that. That we can work it out."

"Ok." I reply, my eyes on my tea. "I really don't want to lose you. I… know I've hurt you and I don't deserve a chance, but… god, Ems, I love you so much, I don't know what I'd do without you." there's a tone of panic in my voice.

"Naomi." she says, her voice quiet, but stern. She reaches over and places her hand on mine. "Calm down, ok? I'm not going anywhere."

"No?" I ask, relief flooding through me.

"If I was, I'd already be gone." she said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Right."

"You're right. We can't change what happened." she continued. "Sophia is dead. So… obviously not a threat. I just need to know if I can trust you."

I want to fall at her feet and swear to her that she can. But I know I can't.

"I need to show you that." I reply.

"Yes." Emily says.

"It's going to be awkward, isn't it?"

"I think so, but I hope not for too long."

"Can you forgive me?" I ask, unable to leave the question unasked.

Emily stared at her half empty mug for what seemed like forever. The sound of the fridge motor echoing around the kitchen.

"Not right now… but I hope I can. I need my best friend."

"You have me, Ems. I'm right here."

"Yeah… you are. But right now, it hurts too much, d'you understand?"

I find myself nodding, as I know she's right. Emily stands up and comes over to me. I look up at her, and she's got me trapped in her brown eyes. Her brow furrows and she links her fingers behind my neck and pulls me into her. She kisses my forehead and holds me close as my arms slip around her. I sink into the comfort that her arms provide me, enjoying the contact.

We spend the rest of the day talking, and it's tense between us, but I suspect it will be for a while. She climbs into bed with me later that night, and at first it's awkward, I don't know whether she wants me to hold her or not, and I can tell she's not sure, either. We're just staring at each other, not knowing.

I eventually break the silence. "Ems… if you want me to hold you… I'll just hold you. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

She hesitates, her expression showing she is thinking it over. Finally she moves closer to me, tentatively cuddling into my arms. She gets comfortable and fits into me, like she always does.

"Em?" I whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Can I… kiss you?"

"…Yeah." she replies, after a little pause. I lean forward and kiss her lips softly, briefly.

And then, we sleep. As I drift off I realise how lucky I am at all that she is here with me. I could very well have lost her completely, and was so very glad that I hadn't.

She is my world. I haven't told her exactly how much I love her, and I wonder if it will come to a point where I have to lay it all down and tell her. We can never predict these things. But I know I would, if I had to.

I'd at least owe her that, don't you think?

* * *

**Reviews welcome :)**


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